You may be suffering from the malady that I am sure has possessed me. I’m convinced I’ve developed Adult Onset ADD. That’s because the older I get, the less patience I have for anything that takes a lot of time. That includes written words on a page. Or a long video (for example, a corporate “this is who we are” production), or a long teleseminar or webinar. In fact, I am hard pressed to sit through anything that takes more than 10-15 minutes. When I write corporate videos for companies I always try to convince the people in charge to keep them short. Really short. You can tell a story, complete with beginning, middle and end, in five minutes or less. I also hate long movies, I don’t care how good they are. Make me laugh, make me cry, make me gasp, but do it in 90 minutes or I am out of there. Did you know any scene that does not move the story forward should be cut? Next time you watch a movie, look for all the unnecessary scenes. Chances are there will be a buttload of them.

Text on Web sites is always supposed to be kept to a minimum. And always broken up into short paragraphs. And it’s hard to keep pieces short; I can wax poetic with the best of them so I have to work at being succinct. Think about it–how many times have you opened a Web site only to see an entire page filled with small text? You probably audibly groan, don’t you? I can’t even get through those short little Groupon explanations (and if you read the story about the founder of Groupon in Vanity Fair, you know the company is very particular about what is written). For the love of Pete, I love good creative writing, but I don’t need to wade through a column of text to find out about the deal for the day. I always scroll right through it.

Which brings me to the holidays and those newsletters many people enclose with their cards. I think you either really like them or really hate them. I’m in the latter camp. Sorry–it has nothing to do with how I feel about the family being written about. I just don’t want to read about the trials, tribulations and successes of every family member. If I am important to you, send me an e-mail or call me and tell me that your perverted uncle got arrested again or Susie Q got a perfect score on her SAT. But if you insist on enclosing information about your life and your family’s lives, try doing it as a short poem–a lot more fun. Or better yet, try Haiku. Nothing says “here’s the scoop” like three lines of 17 syllables.

Angela at Rangewriter

Greetings from the land of deadbeatness. I could provide excuses as to why I have not posted anything lately, but really … do you care? Thought not. Today’s post is really more for myself than anything else because I was caught being very impatient and reactionary/unkind while driving. Actually, it’s one of my many faults, but again, do you care? And as I was driving home later, I got to thinking about it and realized I didn’t make the world a better place by my actions, I made someone else mad, and it really wasn’t worth it. And I also realized we are all probably guilty of doing the same thing when we write or communicate with others, whether it’s in a professional setting or just in blathering our wee hearts out about something to friends.

Here’s my situation today: Guy ahead of me driving a little runt car sat at a green light for quite some time. I finally beeped at him and he moved on, but then at the speed of a dead snail. I finally accelerated my little Honda and zipped around him. I didn’t look at him (don’t you hate those withering glares people give you when they’re pissed?) or anything, just drove on. A short while later he pulled up beside me, beeped, saluted me with his middle finger and mouthed something. I’m pretty sure it was not, “Heh, you’re cute.” I mouthed something back (won’t tell you what), and that was the end of it.

Okay, my point is, I didn’t really need to beep–he would have moved on eventually and I was in no major hurry. Plus, he may have driven really slow because the car was having trouble. Who knows. I could have politely gone around him and he never would have cared. But I made a big deal out of it, which prompted him to make a big deal out of it. Worst case scenario: He could have been a nut job who would have loved pulling out a gun and blowing my face off. Stuff like that happens.

And I think we do the same thing when we write or communicate. We’re mad about something else entirely and then we get an e-mail that rubs us the wrong way and we fire back a response that isn’t needed or appreciated. Or maybe we get an e-mail that puts us in an absolute rage and we decide “By God, she/he’s not going to get away with that!” and we hammer out a response that would curdle cyberspace. I’ve done that once or twice with someone who has sent me poltiically-themed e-mails that so rub me the wrong way. And in all honesty, it just would have been better to forget it and delete it because she didn’t understand my thinking/response and I’ll never understand her thinking. In fact, I think we could all probably save ourselves a lot of grief and typing time if we just made “forget it and delete it” our mantra when it comes to e-mails that annoy us (especially when they come from people you like but just don’t see eye-to-eye about on certain things).

And remember, Facebook postings are becoming more and more public. I really try to keep my political and religious views in check when I’m on Facebook. I don’t have any trouble supporting causes or some views that are important to me, but I refrain from writing a comment that is just better left unwritten. A potential employer or client could see what you write and if it’s disagreeable, truly hold it against you.

In closing, I ask you to put more patience and kindness into your life–whether it’s your writing and communicating, your driving or just dealing with people in general. Trust me, I have lots of work to do, but I promise I am working on it. And you know, maybe that guy really did think I was cute and his gesture was merely a sign that I am number one. What do you think?

Angela, from Rangewriter

I am supposed to be writing the second of two magazine articles due tomorrow but for some reason I cannot get motivated to do it. I struggled to finish the first one and am hoping the editor does not barf with the end result. And now with the dog’s flatulence problem my focus is even more hampered. If this post ends in an incomplete sentence, you will know dear Miss Maisie did me in.

So, I am procrastinating by writing this because the thought just came to me. I have blathered earlier about my distate for all things technological. My hissy fits are legend and cause much scowling on my husband’s cute face. My friend Char told me last fall when I was having a meltdown at her house about something that I should either embrace technology or just not even get involved with it (something to that effect and her voice was quite stern when she said it). But … I must say I am really a fan of texting. And I wasn’t until I got a phone that made it possible to text without causing surgical-level damage to your fingers and that took 20 minutes to type so much as “Where are you?”

My advice to all of you who still do not have a Smart Phone (I believe that is the correct term): Get one and get a text package that does not charge you an arm and a leg. I think I pay $5 for up to 250 texts, and that is plenty for me. I really don’t like talking on the phone so texting is an easy way to communicate a quick message and the receiver can see it in a meeting or while in a store and not have to talk. I just texted someone to tell him it was time to leave his house, and he texted me right back that he was just then leaving, we both included smiley faces, so all is well and I know he won’t be late. And we didn’t have to say a word. It took about 30 seconds for all of this to take place, and you know a call would have lasted longer than that (at least with him it would have).

Well, I have put this article off long enough. Maisie is in the rocking chair so maybe her digestive tract will remain calm and I can work without keeling over.

Angela at Rangewriter

Do you sometimes grit your teeth when you’re reading a facebook or twitter post that is simply packed with interest–like when someone writes, “Just had a peanut butter sandwich for lunch–yum!” Yes, I’m being sarcastic because posts like that drive me nuts (no pun intended). And yes, I’m being judgmental which I keep vowing not to be. Sigh … I suppose I’m hopeless. However, I contend you can avoid such dreary who-the-hell-cares comments if you put a little thought into what you’re writing.

For example, if it’s really important to you that you let everyone know you consumed a peanut butter sandwich and you thought it was absolutely delicious, why not add a little interesting fact about peanut butter that will educate and/or entertain people? I just googled peanut butter and went to this site: http://www.nationalpeanutboard.org/classroom-funfacts.php and the very first fun fact is that it takes 540 peanuts to make one 12-ounce jar of peanut butter. So your post could be: Did you know it takes 540 peanuts to make one 12-ounce jar of peanut butter? Guess what–I just ate some of those 540 peanuts in a sandwich and I enjoyed every one of those tasty legumes. May they rest in peace.

And why would you care about making your peanut butter-eating post more interesting? Because it may encourage people to read your posts instead of blowing by them (which is what I do when I know someone has a tendency to write boring or constantly self-flattering material). And you want people to read what you write, right?

If you want to get a dialogue going, ask questions in your posts about a subject you know is likely to generate interest. Like, “I was just wondering … when a stranger smiles at you, do you feel uncomfortable, flattered or curious? And have you tried smiling at strangers yourself just to see what happens? It’s kind of cool.”

So, just say no to blah, blah, blah. Rise above the folks who insist on telling you the minutia of their day and grab someone’s attention. I dare you!!

Angela at Rangewriter

Hi. I was thinking today about all of the important things you run across that prove to be useful later. This means you start acquiritng “stuff” and that said stuff really begins to accumulate (I’m primarily referring to things you run across in print or that you’ve printed out from the computer). Granted, this can lead to a problem. When it starts stacking up to the ceiling and you barely have room to walk, then your stuff has to be addressed. My husband would tell you I have a problem with stuff. He doesn’t complain (except when he can’t make his way through the garage partly because of his stuff and partly because of all my boxes of old articles, tax receipts, books, etc), but if put under a spotlight I know he would tell you I have a real problem. Oh, never mind … it’s not important right now.

Anyway, all that aside–I do believe it’s important to hang on to material that resonates with you or that you feel you can use later. Especially if you are a writer or speaker or someone who communicates with people on a fairly regular basis. But I urge you to have a better system than I do. My stuff is scattered in bins and boxes and manila folders all over the place and God help me should I need to find a particular bon mot. But I do have books and other resource materials that I can lay my hands on and I use material from these resources frequently. I use the Internet all the time, too. My God, how did we manage to do anything without Google??!! When I am working on a book or magazine article, I often spice it up with material from another source (and you must always credit your sources). This helps add interest and credibility to your work because it shows you’re taking the time to research your subject, that you respect another person’s expertise, and that you’re seeking cold hard facts to back up whatever you’re talking about.

But even if you’re just writing a blog post or a lengthy e-mail to a group of people, it’s nice to add something that jazzes up your writing. And that’s when you make use of the cool stuff you’ve been accumulating. Like quotes you especially like or some bizarre fact or an opinion from some person you respect.

One of these days I’m sure I will get a system in place so all of the cool stuff I’ve saved is easily accessible. I keep telling Jim I need a personal valet, but so far he hasn’t bought into the idea. Perhaps if I just clutter up the garage a bit more …

Here are a few quotes I have always loved:
“Remember, we’re all in this alone.” Lily Tomlin
“A mother is neither cocky, nor proud, because she knows the school prinicipal may call at any minute to report that her child has just driven a motorcycle through the gymnasium.” Mark Kay Blakely (American writer)
“The eye that directs a needle in the delicate meshes of embroidery will equally well bisect a star with the spider web of the micrometer.” Maria Mitchell (American astronomer and mathematician)
“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.” Albert Einstein

Angela at Rangewriter

Greetings. Last post I mentioned the art of writing visually. This is something I learned from a screenwriter many years ago. I had written a treatment for a film script I was working on and he went over it with me in our laundry room in the work room off the garage (I think he wanted to smoke a cigarette so that’s why we were in there). Anyway, I’ve never forgotten this little session we had and what he taught me. His comment to me was very simple: “Don’t tell … show.” In other words, you aren’t just saying what happens, you are describing what happens so the reader immediately gets a view of the scene in his or her mind. How you describe a scene (or situation or moment or event) can reveal the person’s age, where it’s taking place, what time of day it is, the season … on and on. And you don’t have to be writing a novel or short story or film to use this technique. You can use it in everyday writing, too, or when you’re journaling.

I’ll try to give you an example. Let’s say an old, poverty-stricken woman is walking down the street. You could just say she is old, that she is poor, that she is frail … but it’s a lot more fun and interesting if you paint a picture of her and the street for your reader.

Boring description: The old woman was frail and poor, cautiously making her way down the littered street.

Visual description: Tissue paper skin stretched over her blue-veined hand as she clutched at the frayed threads of her coat collar, the once lustrous gabardine now tired and faded from years of wear. Wisps of gray curls fluttered around the sagging skin of her jowls and her sparrow-like shoulders pinched together to fight the bitter chill. Eyes that at one point could look down the barrel of a shotgun to put a perfect bead on a quail now struggled to make out the jagged terrain of the familiar sidewalk, now strewn with debris and as dangerous as a minefield to her slipper-clad feet.

From this description you gather that the woman is old and frail, maybe even a little scatty, was probably well off at one point in her life, liked to go bird hunting, she is now on hard times and living in an area that is rather shabby, and it’s a cold day. And whether I did a good job of it or not, the description tells you all of that without actually saying it, if that makes sense.

If you enjoy writing, play around with little scenes like this and see if you can let the reader know what you want him to know by painting a picture rather than flat out telling him. And even if you’re writing a letter/e-mail to someone or writing on your personal blog, you can use this technique to add some interest to your communication. Seriously … you might get some interesting responses!

Angela at Rangewriter

Seriously … even if “writer” is the last way you would describe yourself, you are. I meet people all the time who tell me, “Oh, I can’t write.” Or, “I hate to write.” And it’s okay to feel that way, but I just want you to know that if you can read, you can write. If you can communicate, you can write. Or perhaps I should say, do write.

Think about it–you probably compose e-mails on a regular basis. Or you write little scruffs of info on facebook or twitter. You write notes to people (“Honey, went to mall–back at 5.”), leave instructions, compose texts on the phone, etc, etc. And I can just imagine what you are now thinking–That doesn’t count; that’s not really writing. Well for pete’s sake, of course it is! And I’ll tell you why.

When you use words to make a point, especially when it involves communicating a message, and I don’t care how short it is, you are writing. And why wouldn’t you want those words to make sense and be written in such a way that people don’t have to read them two or three or ten times to figure out what you’re trying to say? This is when you should be nodding your head up and down and saying, “Yeah, she’s right!”

So my point (you didn’t think there would be one, did you?) is that it behooves you to take some time to learn how to string a few words together. No, dear heart, you do not need to be America’s next great novelist. Nor even a short story pro. But spend 30 minutes to know how to use punctuation (see my earlier post) or what makes a complete sentence. And the biggest help to making your writing a little less painful (for readers as well as for yourself)? Reread what you write. Especially e-mails. I have discovered that I just about always make mistakes in an e-mail. I don’t know if it’s because we all write so fast to keep up with our thoughts or what, but invariably when I reread an e-mail I find problems. Words stuck together, typos–the whole gamut of errors. And I see errors in e-mails that are sent to me, often by other writers who I know would cringe if they knew what they had sent.

So, I advise you to take a little time to learn some basics and then proof and reproof those things you write. You don’t need to be anal about it, but if you start seeing your “writing” making more sense and looking pretty good, it may be less of a chore for you.

Next time I’ll explain how to write “visually.” I’m still working on this myself, but it’s a very cool concept so for those of you who do enjoy stringing a bunch of prose together, you might find it helpful.

Until then, be careful when you hit those frigging keyboard keys–they can be real landmines of thought confusion.

Angela

What I mean by this is that there are a zillion rules for writing and most of them are broken repeatedly. You can refer to the AP Stylebook or Chicago Manual of Style until you’re blue in the face (and these two bibles of the industry are at times at opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to rules), and still some jerk will publish something that just looks wrong. Or is wrong. But that’s being judgmental and we all need to stop being that way, me especially.

But there are some basics that you can follow so you’ll know you’re doing it right or at least aren’t infuriating an anal type like me. And let me be the first to admit I make mistakes and do not have all the answers. No way, no how. I keep the dictionary and my AP Stylebook right beside me at all times and refer to them repeatedly and guess boldly when neither (nor a source online) gives me a definitive answer.

Here are two of my biggest annoyances when it comes to writing mistakes: punctuation and quotation marks, and those two little words, its/it’s. First the quotation marks issue.

In the United States (and no idea why it’s the opposite way in Britain unless it’s bad blood still coagulating from the Revolutionary War), punctuation that is part of a sentence goes inside double quotation marks. Not single quotation marks, but double (single use I’ll cover another time). We’re talking a period at the end of the sentence, a question mark that is part of the sentence, exclamation point, stuff like that. So, it should look like this: “Angela has lost her marbles, but what else is new?” Jim said. Semi-colons and colons go outside, and a question mark if it is not part of the sentence (Did you really want to know she screamed, “I don’t give a fat turkey’s rear!”?) The best way to remember this little rule is by thinking of quotation marks as hoobie-doovers, a term I learned from my son’s first grade teacher. Can you believe it–Mrs. Carroll was teaching first graders how to use quotation marks!! Think of these hoobie-doovers as little guards protecting the punctuation.

Next, the old its/it’s quandary. This one is very simple. Its is a pronoun and it’s is a conjunction for it is or it has. So don’t mix them up, for crying out loud! So–it’s very simple to use the word correctly for its intended purpose.

There–that’s your writing lesson for today. There will be a test next post. Just kidding.

Angela at Rangewriter

As a Hoosier, I am all too familiar with the phrase, “Gentlemen, start your engines …” that exciting announcement that sets the stage for the running of the Indy 500 every year. Although today, thank God, I suppose the announcer says Gentlemen and Ladies.

Anyway, the point being, I am now writing a blog connected to my Web site, Rangewriter.com. So, I am starting my engine and hope many of you will pop in from time to time to see what is rambling around in my head. Yes, I should have done it eons ago and I should be blathering nonstop about all things writing that will titillate anyone who has an interest in writing or hiring a writer like me. Call me a slow learner I guess and someone who so detests technology I’d prefer to go back to a blackboard.

If I can figure out how to do it, I will posts YouTube videos I think are worth watching, quotes that make me think, smile or cry, and other tidbits that relate to my blatherings, etc.

So stay tuned my dear friends … the ride may be bumpy as I get my engine up and roaring, but I am confident eventually it will be humming along like Danica around one of those Indy curves.

Till later … Angela at Rangewriter.